Diary of a compulsive misfit

kittenkathleen @ 2008-10-22T19:48:00

2008-10-22T18:50:10Z

Hi :|

I think I just had the worst month of my life

Sorry I haven't been around

My computer was also broke :/

I missed y'all

On the plus side new baby cousin

Too many bads though

Sorry people :(

HI!!

2008-09-07T15:30:41Z

I HATE MY LAPTOP
IT DIED!
Now I have to catch up with comments :(
ANYWAY...

I've quietly stolen this meme from...ermm... from...
Well I dunno! everyones doing it! lmao. I thin glitterglue started it so thanks!

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME (first pet, current car): Caddy Mitsubishi (that's just an awful name)
2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME (favourite ice cream flavour, favourite type of shoe): Vanilla Converse (OH NO!!! NUTELLA ALREADY HAS THAT!!! WE WILL HAVE TO HAVE A FIGHT NOW!!!)
3. YOUR NATIVE AMERICAN NAME (favourite colour, favourite animal): Black Big cat XD
4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME (middle name, city where you were born): Anneliese Manchester (hehe)
5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 of your first name): Helka (thats actually pretty good XD)
6. SUPERHERO NAME (2nd favourite colour, favourite drink, add THE): The red wine (HOW VERY APPROPRIATE!)
7. NASCAR NAME (the first names of your grandfathers): Colin Ronald, Ronald Colin?
(it's kinda sad that it took me a while to remember Ronald- he died before I was born)
8. STRIPPER NAME (the name of your favourite perfume/cologne/scent): Gucci Rush
(Wow thats a good one!)
9. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME (your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter): Andrews ermmmmmmm Aberdeeen?
10. SPY NAME: (your favourite season/holiday, flower): Summer Iris (I like it!)
11. CARTOON NAME: (favourite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now): Mango Jeans XD
12. HIPPIE NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favourite tree): Nothing Birch haha

Guess the song time!

2008-08-31T17:38:05Z

I've seen people do these and thought it was cool and this may be kinda pointless (I have wierd tastes) but ally made me do it!!! lmao

1) 'Valentinos got a booky shop and what he takes He gives for what hes got'

2)'Its a place where you will learn To face your fears, retrace the tears And ride the whims of your mind'

3)'i've seen your flag on the marble arch
but love is not a victory march
it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah' <-----HALLELUJAH BY LEONARD COHEN/JEFF BUCKLEY GUESSED BY ISKY! WOO!

4)'Oh mama, Ive been years on the lamb and had a high price on my head, Lawman said get him dead or alive now it's for sure he'll see me dead'

5)'Under these fingertips a strange body rolls and dips I close my eyes and you're here again Later as day descends I'll shout from my window Toanyone listening. "I'm loosing" <--------OK SOOOOOOO GONNA MAKE THAT INTO A FIC AS SOON AS MY ARM FIXES! GRRR!

6)'Down in the badlands she was savin' the best for last It only hurts when I laugh'

7)I’m alone and self anemic -And sometimes you wake up

8) 'If you let me I could-I'd show you how to build your fences-Set restrictions-Separate from the world-The constant battle that you hate to fight-Just blame the limelight'

9)'Daddy was a Cajun, raised on Southern land
And so my kinfolks tell me, was a street-fightin' man.'

10) Valentine is done-Here but now they're gone-Romeo and Juliet-Are together in eternity...

11) 'I wear this crown of s**t On my liar's chair
of broken thoughts I cannot repair' <------ONCE AGAIN GUESSED BY ISKY THIS IS 'HURT' BUT NINE INCH NAILS VERSION NOT JOHNNY CASH'S COS OF SWEARING :)

12)'Masquerading as a man with a reason My charade is the event of the season And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know'

13)In time our so I'm told I'm just another soul for sale... oh, wellThe page is out of print We are not permanent We're temporary, temporary Same old story

14) 'Same old song just a drop of water in the endless sea all we do crumbles to the ground though we refuse to see...'

15)'Listen, do you hear them drawing near in their search for the sinners? Feeding on the power of our fear and the evil within us. Incarnation of Satan's creation of all that we dread. When the demons arrive those alive would be better off dead!' <----- if you get that one i will be truly amazed XD

kittenkathleen @ 2008-08-30T22:51:00

2008-08-30T21:52:24Z

*Sigh* Does anybody know where to find episodes of six feet under without having to wait 6 hours for chinese/japanese servers like tuduo etc to load?

kittenkathleen @ 2008-08-23T19:58:00

2008-08-23T19:08:07Z

ARGGHHHH

Been so busy recently had to shop for clothes and sort bank stuff out and I hate forms the whole country is controlled by paper made from trees grown in another country and chopped into mush just like my brain right now.

Oh plus the bank thought I'd been living with them for about 8 years?!? :S I'm sure they'd notice if I was kipping in the vault but there you are.

But I bought converse, and a top 1/2 price and I'm gonna get that leather jacket asap plus manchester was fun.

On the downside I can see that there is Greg/Clive fic that I have not read yet and comedy store reports that still tempt my more gluttoness side and more of ally_pops gorgeous all i ever wanted that i can't get around to yet (I'm sorry you've been having a tough time hun and I'm sorry I haven't been able to comment on those drabbles yet just know they were great).

Anyway I have to get through a certain *cough* thing i have to do at the mo (don't worry empress it'll get done) ;)

kittenkathleen @ 2008-08-14T13:35:00

2008-08-14T13:08:05Z

A meme stolen from ally_pops who stole it from rosalynstar

1) I miss somebody right now. *nods* :( my sponge I haven't spoken to him in like four days :O
2) I do not watch tv these days.
3) I wear glasses or contact lenses.
4) I love to play video games
5) I have tried marijuana.
6) I have been in a threesome.
7) I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
8) I have changed mentally over the last year.
9) I curse. -too much
10) I am smart. believe it or not I was in the top 7 of my school XD Why did they choose 7 though? what is this? the bible?
11) I've broken someone's bones.
12) I am paranoid sometimes. Definately
13) I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free. Yeah if it was completly risk free of course I would
14) I need money right now. *glares at HM revenue and customs*
15) I love sushi.
16)I talk really, really fast Yes I'm also quit psh for a northern lass XD
17) I have long hair. -not any more lmao
18) I have lost money in Las Vegas.
19) I have at least one sibling.
20) I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past. Blonde extensions for my prom (my mums a hairdresser so I'm the guinea pig) my hair is nor Red though XD
21) I couldn't survive without Caller ID. whats Caller id? :S
22) I like the way I look
23) I am usually pessimistic. I'm british I'm kinda pessimistic in a happy 'the worlds gonna end!! WOO! AHH WELL!' kinda way :P
24) I have a lot of mood swings *nods* probably
25) I have a hidden talent. Yes I hide it extremly well XD
26) I am always hyper. ....Do I really need to explain this one XD
27) I have a lot of friends. (online) Yep I just don't talk to a lot of them XD
28) I have pecked someone of the same sex. pecked?
29) I enjoy talking on the phone. NO i hate it you can never bloody hear them
30)I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants. and jeans
31) I love to shop. Only if I have money XD
32) Enjoy window shopping. Especially for antiques.
33) I would rather shop than eat. Only if I have money and the food is normal and I'm not hungry (cos I'm not usually)
34) I don't hate anyone. Lifes too short people who hate me just ammuse me most of the time by having the nergy to do so- but thats only out of the people I know I DO hate people like Mugabe he's evil
35) I am a pretty good dancer. I like to think so but no
36) I am completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
37) I have a cell phone. yep *eyeroll*
38) I believe in God.
39) I am an adrenaline junkie. Probably yeah
40) I watch MTV on a daily basis
42) I have rejected someone before I'm trying to build up the courage to do it right now
43) I want to have children in the future.
44) I have changed a diaper before.
45) I have called the cops on a friend before.
46) I am not allergic to anything. but my mum went allergic to EVERYTHING as soon as I was born XD
47) I have a lot to learn. ABOUT WHAT?!?!
48) I am shy around members of the opposite sex. -No they're usually more entertaining (pureley as far as friendship is concerned)
49) I have made a move on a friend, significant other or crush in the past. ROFL! YEAH! I did it on msn and sent it to the wrong person by accident!!! lmao
50) I have tried alcohol before.
51) I own the South Park movie
52) I would die for my best friend My best friends all soppy so we've actually had this conversation
53) I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza. Nuh uh I know my pizza places and my indian places too XD
54) I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
55) I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
56) Halloween is awesome because you get free candy. And you get to scare annoying children MWA HA HA HA!
57) I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
58) I am happy at this moment! Meh I'm pretty vacant right now
59) I am obsessed with girls/guys.
60) I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met. I do the bunny round the tree method? lmao
61) I study for tests most of the time.
62) I am comfortable with who I am right now.
63) I have more than just my ears pierced.
64) I walk barefoot wherever I can.
65) I have jumped off a bridge.
66) I love sea turtles & monkeys. Sea turtles and monkeys? so like sea monkeys? nahh
67) I spend ridiculous money on makeup. It costs ridiculous money i can't help it!
68) Plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
69) I am proficient in a musical instrument. *is currently sat next to her guitar*
70) I hate office jobs.
71) I love sci-fi movies. they can be pretty awesome
72) I think water rules. I live in water I used to compete
73) I went to college out of state. -I wish I could?
74) I like sausages.
75) I love kisses. ...that involve Greg/Clive etc XD
76) I fall for the worst people
77) I adore bright colors.
78) I can't live without eyeliner
80) I usually like covers better than originals.
81) I can pick up things with my toes
82) I can whistle.
83) I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snake's slither.
84) I have ridden/owned a horse. -My mum owns one
85) I still have every journal I've written in. -I always forget
86) I can stick to a diet. I've never tried XD that'll catch up with me when I'm older I'm sure
87) I talk in my sleep. *nods* I just hope I odn't start talking about Greg/Clive! :O
88) I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions. Yah I'm an idiot
89) I have jazz in my blood.
90) Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time. -*nods*
91) I wear a ring -they irritate me
92) I can't stand at LEAST one person that I'm in the same class/ work with. -
93) I am a caffeine junkie.
94) I cosplay or know what cosplaying is. I don't do it ally just had to show me what it is though XD
95) I have been to over 15 conventions.
96) I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical the better. I collect stones
97) I am an artist.
98) I only clean my room when necessary. *shrugs* I'm an aquarius thats my excuse
99) I like a person of the same sex.
100) I love being happy. Yes but I hate that phrase 'fun loving' because really who hates fun? I think I'll have 'fun hating' on my gravestone just to be contrary

kittenkathleen @ 2008-08-14T13:20:00

2008-08-14T12:28:28Z

:O!!! YOU GUYS!!! CHECK OUT THIS VIDEO!!

*HAS MINOR FIT*
Who needs subtext right?

Check RY/GREG love at 0:17 ;) See in my mind this is Greg trying to make Clive jealous spec with the whole 'I'm Clives younger cuter brother' later on somethings going on there!!! *nods* and why else was this cut!?!!? (bewarned don't come up with logical answer to that question!)

Also I found out how many hours of Greg stuff I have

Anyone wanna guess?

No?

43 hours 31minutes 06 seconds

....so far

:O EEK!

kittenkathleen @ 2008-08-09T20:56:00

2008-08-09T20:01:14Z

*Needs to catch up on her friends list desperately!!!!!*

Internet deprvation sucks

On the plus side wrote fic, not finished but slowly getting there

headwall

2008-07-21T12:13:16Z

Hey guys just dropping a not to say I won't be online for a few days (but I have no idea how long) because the computer repair guy needs to fix what he effed up (see previous rant). au revoir friends :(

RANT!

2008-07-18T16:15:02Z

My laptop went mad!
It stopped charging and died
I'm so annoyed
I went to staples and they told me i'd need to buy a new charger for £50 and would need to order it >:(

But I wasn't gonna take their word for it was I?

So I went to a small repair shop nearby and he checked my charger. Turns out the chagers fine but the conection on the inside of the laptop must be loose and he'll have to open up the computer and solder it back.

*facepalm*

but no it's ok it's only gonna take two days I can go two days without it right? right?!!?!

Two days later....

A phonecall claiming he needs a new part so it'll take till friday

me *cough cough* bullshit!
'Pardon?'
Oh ok then :)

*tears hair out*

Friday:

Collects laptop and breathes a sigh of relief as she has resorted to writing Greg/Clive fanfic in her old biology excercise book and texting people (and she hates texting)

*wonders why shes referring to herself in third person*

...

Anyway, I come home kinda squeeful that he wrapped it in pink bubblewrap because I don't like pink but I like bubblewrap and that was more interesting (sad I know).

... I open it up and my fucking cd reader is stuck out like waving at me and showing of

....and it won't go back in
or come out

*sobs*

And now my computers gonna need to be repaired again *headwall*

*hyperventilates*

*rushes of to read fiends page while still has a comp*

I HATE MY INTERNET!!!

2008-07-11T19:26:12Z

Why must it persist in beating me mercilessly into the ground? Now not only do I need to catch up on everything I missed when I went on holiday but also the last 4 days worth of posts! ARRRGGGGGHHHHHH

Still at least I should have lots of reading material *facepalm*

*rushes of to read friends page*

kittenkathleen @ 2008-06-24T03:06:00

2008-06-24T02:13:10Z

George Carlin died on Sunday from heart failure aged 71, he will be missed, found out from Greg's website and spent the night watching tons of clips along with a lot of his other fans. :(
On a positive note I laughed endlessly from his genius and also found this clip which I thought some of my fellow Proopoholics may enjoy. I know I did :)

Book Club

2008-06-17T01:09:21Z

Hiya! this is my second fic they seem to be pouring out of my ears right now so I hope I don’t clog up the comm too much K and I hope you enjoy it! I also hope I don't get shot at dawn for mentioning the F-word. No not that one! you'll see...
I once read somewhere that Greg and Jeff shared the same interest in books, even swapped them occasionally. It inspired me to write this.

Title: Book Club
Pairing: Greg/Jeff slight mention of Ryan/Colin
Rating: 18
Warning: sex (ommmm)
Summary: Jeff’s latest instalment gets Greg ever so slightly hot under the collar
Italics are for stuff written or read by the characters

The others called it book club, the two men could often been seen in some dingy corner talking about their latest read enthusiasm clear as they squabbled over which obscure author was better. The others were bewildered by it, sure they'd guessed that Greg read a fair bit-the guy was liking a walking encyclopaedia, a fact he wasn't scared to flaunt. Jeff however had been more of a puzzle, he enjoyed going out to the bars with the other whose liners sure, he was sociable, larger than life but nobody knew what he did outside of work, he rarely spoke of it.
Greg and Jeff had bonded more than any of them could have presumed, the older man making the younger laugh with just a wiggle of eyebrows or a roll of his eyes and no doubt enjoying the attention, glad of the intellectual equal.
But despite all of Greg's sparkling wit and knowledge the others had begun to think him astonishingly thick. How he'd missed the non to subtle signals Jeff sent in his direction they did not know. Jeff was pining after him and Greg must have been stupidly oblivious to Jeff’s gestures as all his co-stars had agreed that put in Greg’s place, if they knew Jeff wanted them they wouldn't hesitate to fuck Jeff into the mattress- a revelation that earned Ryan a rather nasty glare from Colin who stalked away to spend the rest of the day sending odd looks at Jeff, much to the young mans bewilderment.
The others had spent sometimes thereafter discussing why they 'totally would', claiming you only had to look at his deep brown eyes, cheeky grin and lean body to understand why so many men and women lusted after him, when Jeff had entered the room midway through this conversation he had been bewildered yet again as the others turned to gape at him before quickly making their excuses to leave, jackets, and notes rested carefully against their crotch areas.
Jeff too was beginning to get frustrated by Greg's lack of response, especially considering it was the last day of taping today and Greg was leaving for Europe that night, there chances of seeing each other soon to be greatly reduced. But he had a plan, Greg couldn't take a hint, fine. He'd make the next impossible to miss.

Greg had been leaving the studio earlier than the others, opting out of their usual celebratory drink to pack the bags he was supposed to do the day before, but he turned as he heard the a voice calling out to him.
"Hey Greg!" Jeff’s voice and footsteps echoed across the car park and Greg waited for him to catch up "You weren't going to leave without say goodbye where you?"
"Of course not! How could I leave you?" It was meant as a joke he knew but Jeff couldn’t help the blush that swept over his face
"Here I thought you might like this" he shoved a leather bound book into Greg’s hands before he could talk himself out of it. "I think you'll find it very...er...provocative" Greg had raised an eyebrow at that curious to why Jeff was acting so oddly. Jeff hated it when he did that, it sent a shock straight to his groin and he did it far too often. "Well cya then" he'd choked lamely before hurrying away.
Greg stood stunned for a few moments, since when was Jeff awkward with him? But there was no time to worry about that now, running a hand through his hair he placed the book on the front seat of his car promising to read it and call his friend as soon as possible.

Finally after three hours sat in the ridiculously noisy airport Greg found himself crammed on to small plane to Paris. The other passengers trickling in slowly being predictably irritating in the process, Greg opened the book intent in blocking out the annoying high pitched hostess but was distracted as several sheets of carefully folded paper fell to his feet, probably just something Jeff forgot about he decided. He shouldn't open it he knew but curiosity got the better of him.

The first thing he saw was his own name, then Jeff's. Confused he read on.

Greg knocked at the door sharp and impatient. Jeff woke slowly to the insistent tapping, he'd fallen asleep watching the TV again and his hair stuck up at ridiculous angles as he opened the door to find Greg leaning against the frame.
"Greg are you alright?" he didn't answer instead choosing to step over through the open door eyes drilling holes into the side of Jeff’s head.
He looked at Greg with a slight trepidation, scared of the hunger gleaming in his eyes, before closing the door behind them and locking the door, it was almost 2am after all. When he turned it was to find Greg inches from his face and blocking his movement, Jeff shrunk back against the door trying to escape the intensity of Greg’s stare. Greg placed his hands on the door either side of Jeff’s head and leant in suddenly greedily claiming Jeff's mouth, sucking and biting at his lower lip in a way that made him gasp in surprise and gave Greg the perfect opportunity to slip a tongue past lips and teeth to clash with Jeff’s.

Greg was becoming uncomfortable now, surely this was some kind of cruel joke? Jeff was so young and attractive, still boyish looking despite his height and Greg knowing he wouldn't have a chance with him had tried his best to act normal, although it didn't help when Jeff insisted on giving him those intense looks that made Greg squirm- made him feel as though the man was scrutinizing his darkest thoughts knowing all too well what was really on his mind. Yes it had to be a trick Jeff was having fun teasing him, but then why would he look so nervous earlier?

Jeff’s hands reached to wrap around Greg's back but Greg grabbed them slamming them to the door above his head, Jeff whimpered into his mouth at this eyes closed and breath shallow as Greg bit at his ear before lying a line of hot wet kisses down his long neck and collarbone rough hands holding him in place at his shoulders. Greg ripped at his shirt viciously to send the first few buttons flying, he reached a finger into his mouth and gripped the long dark hair at the back of Jeff’s head with the other hand dragging him forward in a messy kiss as the wet finger circled Jeff’s nipple making him pant and open his eyes to gaze at Greg in wonder. Greg took this opportunity to plunge a hand down Jeff’s pants grinning into his mouth as the younger man gasped and grinded into him, both hands finding there way to thread into Greg’s hair sending a jolt to his cock.
Greg growled at this placing a large hand to spread wide over Jeff’s thigh and arse as he turned and slammed him into the other wall..

By this time Greg was increasingly aware of how tight his trousers were becoming and shifted uncomfortably in the plane seat, the thought of Jeff pliable and desperate in his hands an image he had denied himself for months, Jeff was forcing him to face it and the image of Jeff’s long body stretched out, writhing and moaning his name filled his vision.
Jeff had planted it deliberately and Greg felt his cock jump again at the thought of Jeff waiting anxious to see if Greg would come around and fuck him into the wall. Greg made his decision, he was getting of this plane if it was the last thing he did, he stood up, calling out to that stupidly high pitched stewardess as he did.
"Yes sir how can I help?"
"You can help me by getting me off this goddam plane" he growled praying she would get the message and not bother to argue.
"I'm afraid that’s not..."
"don't that's not possible' me I'm getting of this plane if its the last thing I do so we can do this the hard way or the easy way. Your choice" the woman smiled at that, an infuriaring look that clearly said 'no chance darling'
Greg had an idea, he looked up at the stewardess giving her an evil smirk before putting on his best performing voice and saying
"What do you mean there’s something wrong with the left phalange?” the woman looked confused, both rows of passengers stopped in the process of putting there bags in the overhead compartment and Greg stood centre of attention now amazed that a chance phrase from the ten seconds he had watched 'Friends' had halted the entire plane, obviously none of them had seen it, must have been watching whose line he mused. Sure enough...
"Hey your that glasses one of show with Drew Carey!"
"Dude you rock"
"Why'd they cancel it?"
"What did he say was wrong with the plane?"
Greg turned back to smirk at the stewardess as she looked back at him in horror. Fame power always came in useful.
"Guys, I think there's something wrong with the left phalange on this plane"
"Whats that mean?"
"Will we crash?"
"We're going to crash?"
Havoc rose and Greg found himself grinning smugly as one by one passengers reached for their bags muttering venomously and forcing there way to get off the plane, the stewardess having no choice but to let them.

Another hour later and Greg was cruising down the road on the way to Jeff’s grip hard on the steering wheel, he still couldn't believe that had worked, but now he had more important matters to attend to. Namingly Jeff, the image of him spread wide open waiting for Greg to take him had never once left his mind and Greg drove like a drunken idiot hoping the police didn't see him else he'd never figure out the end of the story.
He arrived at Jeff’s house at about 10:45 screeching into the drive before climbing out and slamming the door before stalking up to the lit house. By the time he'd crossed the lawn Jeff had opened to door and stood inside it ruffled bare foot and gorgeous
"Greg?" he'd said anxiously but Greg had cut him off swallowing the distance between them before capturing Jeff's mouth in a passionate long overdue kiss that made Jeff moan and his neighbours gasp as they peered out of their windows disturbed by the ruckus.
"Greg" Jeff pulled back to whisper harshly in Greg’s ear and capture his attention, "Greg!"
"What!" the man groaned clearly irritated from being disturbed in his exploration.
"Everyone will see" he pulled the man away
"Fuck them" had been the single raspy reply as Greg snaked an arm under his T-shirt to place a large hand against his bare lower back returning to his study of Jeff's neck
"Greg! Greg!” Greg ignored him instead sucking at the quickened pulse he had found “Arggh” moaned Jeff “no stop that now!" Greg smirked as Jeff slapped his hands away from where'd they'd been clenched in his hair pulse throbbing from where Greg had sucked it seconds ago.
Jeff grabbed Greg’s tie and dragged the man through the doorway pushing him into the wall as he slammed the door shut with his foot. Jeff dropped to his knees then, mouthing the prominent bulge in Greg’s pants an evil grin on his face as Greg taken by surprise threw his head back against the wall as his hips bucked forward automatically. Greg growled in response grabbing a handful of Jeff’s hair to drag him up for a bruising kiss whilst sliding a hand into the back waistline of his trousers and between the crack of Jeff’s arse.
Jeff gasped as cold fingers probed lower and lower down his crack trying to regain control but failing miserably when Greg turned and slammed him into the wall so hard that it shook, one hand still staking its claim on his arse as the other reached under the T-Shirt once again to tease his nipple with a wet finger, Jeff groaned and began to grind into Greg’s hips causing Greg to let out and inhuman growl as he held the man in place devouring Jeff’s long neck as it was thrown back his head to allow him access.
Jeff’s hands soon flew to Greg’s chest unbuttoning his shirt with desperate fumbling hands and Greg yanked the T-shirt over his head, this time closing lips around Jeff's erect nipple moving his tongue over it in little quick flicks that had Jeff clutching his shoulders and whimpering.
"Shit Greg" Jeff’s hips bucked "where'd you learn that?"
"Wouldn't you like to know Davis" he'd quipped all husky voiced cocky smirk firmly in place. Jeff huffed at that, peeling Greg from his body before pushing him making him back into the living room where he shoved him onto his couch.
Greg stayed where he was naked from the waist up totally relaxed with that same amused look on his face.
Jeff dropped to his knees once again in front of the beautiful man delicate fingers undoing the belt buckle purposefully slow all the while pressing his face into the still clothed thigh and staring up into Greg’s dancing eyes. Greg lifted his hips slightly as Jeff removed the constricting pants before crying out as Jeff fisted his weeping cock through the thin layer of his underwear, it was Jeff’s turn to smirk then as he lowered his mouth to trace patterns across Greg’s thighs and up to his cock leaving the man shaking under Jeff’s ministrations.
Quickly Jeff removed the thin layer of cotton and Greg looked up just in time to see Jeff hold him down as he took his entire length into his mouth. Greg threw his head back then- eyes blown wide open and mouth gasping for air in a strangled cry as Jeff peered up at him from between his legs his own arousal, growing ever stronger as he smelt Greg's, prompting him to undo the top button of his pants dragging them of with some difficulty as his mouth stayed wrapped around Greg’s cock.
Greg lost it when Jeff started to move mouth pulling him in and out with a fierce amount of sucking, so it took every last inch of his composure to yank Jeff back up by his hair to steal a kiss that tasted of his own arousal before demanding to be inside of him and falling back into the cushions.
Jeff grinned sly like before tracing a single finger along the underside of Greg’s cock. Jeff watched fascinated as Greg hissed and flung his head back barely a foot from him, he did it again and saw as Greg panted closing his eyes momentarily before opening them to flash dangerously.
"Stop fucking with me and just fuck me already" he ground out as he pulled Jeff’s hand from his throbbing cock.
Jeff complied pulling back for a moment to remove the last barrier that separated them deciding, his spit would have to be lubrication enough, besides it was worth a little pain to see Greg squirm.
Slowly Jeff climbed to kneel above Greg’s sweat glazed body, the man watching him through lidded eyes head pressed back into the cushions and panting, Jeff decided there and then that Greg definitely suited the 'fucked look'. Slowly he lowered himself so that the tip of Greg's cock just touched his arse making Greg whimper almost imperceptibly as he forced his eyes open to see what Jeff was doing.
Jeff felt a shiver run through him as the very tip Greg's cock begun to stretch his entrance, their eyes met one final time and they stared into each other faces as Jeff lowered himself inch by inch onto Greg’s cock,
Greg moaned trying restrain himself from just fucking Jeff into the carpet as he felt Jeff's inner muscles pulse and ripple as they stretched to accommodate him.
Jeff panted, short breaths released through pursed lips and brow creased in concentration as he held onto Greg’s hips and stretched his body above him, Greg kept still for him although he could still feel the throbbing from both Greg's cock and his muscles being pulled further than ever before.
Greg felt the sucking as Jeff began to lift of again muscles spasming and pulling at his cock as he was dragged almost all the way out of Jeff’s body before plunging back in again, the slow rhythm was driving him mad as he felt every single pulse.
"You're so tight... Fuck!" he cried out again as Jeff deliberately tensed his muscles around Greg’s cock face flushed with concentration still not entirely used to Greg’s size, Greg saw him struggling and in one fluid movement he'd lifted the younger man enough to reverse their positions without him coming out, Jeff gasping at the sudden change.
Jeff had found himself suddenly lying on the couch and looked up to see Greg inches from his face and staring into his eyes with a softness he hadn't seen all night, Greg traced a finger over his cheek making in a move unexpectedly gentle before whispering
"Ssshh It's ok, just relax" and Jeff did although there was still a slight burn and Greg felt some of the tension leave his body.
"Good your doing great" Greg coaxed him wrapping long fingers around his neglected cock and swallowing his moan as he traced over Jeff’s lips again with a skilled tongue. Greg was forced to take his hand away momentarily as he bent one of Jeff’s knees for better access, looking back to Jeff for reassurance, Jeff nodded bracing himself. Greg entered him slowly, this time going even deeper and Jeff felt as his balls nudged against his arse, once Greg was fully sheathed Jeff looked up to see Greg eyes closed and biting his bottom lip amazed at how the mans gentle penetration had reduced the burning pain to a dull ache, Greg opened his eyes and the two stared at each others sated faces in the most intimate moment they shared all night, and then Greg had shifted almost imperceptibly giving the smallest thrust and Jeff dug his nails into Greg’s back as he hit his prostrate sending white lights behind his eyes and Greg wrapped a strong fist around his cock and began to pump him cock dragging almost all the way out before pushing back in to hit Jeff's prostrate again and again, Greg gave a sharp tug followed by another thrust and was rewarded by Jeff screaming his name as the hot seed poured from his cock and his sated body shivered, pulsed and clenched uncontrollably, clenches which Greg could feel as his own orgasm spilled into Jeff’s hole unable to withstand the heat and pressure any longer, tears leaked from his eyes as he clenched them shut and screamed "Jeff!" panting to try to gain oxygen before his supporting arm gave out and he collapsed onto Jeff‘s chest.
Both men remained still, panting and sated as they looked into each others faces too tired to even kiss instead just sharing breath as they recovered.
They ended up sleeping on the couch that night neither willing to climb the stairs to bed. Jeff woke first smirking at the arm protectively flung across his chest before peeling himself away to spend a good minute admiring Greg's arse before throwing some sweatpants on-the shower could wait until Greg was awake to join him he smirked.
Yawning he turned on his computer before browsing his history to find the lj page he had printed last night

Anonymous 3rd October 10:43

Woah great fic there, I loved that ending- I really felt EVERYTHING from Jeff's perspective :P
Write more soon!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread).

AN: I'd LOVE to know what you think so please don't be shy reviewers, criticisms can be helpful so please include any that you have I know it’s far from perfect and I’m sure there’ll be some spelling mistakes at the very least

Cracked Crown upon my head (PART 3/3)

2008-06-16T13:12:30Z

Cracked Crown upon my head (PART 3/3)
Pairing: Greg/Clive
Rating: Definately 18+
Warnings: Contains sex, some naughty words and angst galore
Disclaimer: Don't own. No profit. I'm just messing in the sandbox
Summary: Time for some healing Mr P-probably need to read previous chapters to understand this fully, I hope you like it
AN: Big thanks go out to iskytheisk I couldn't have done it without the the added help :)

Clive felt rather than saw the presence at his bedroom door but chose not to turn away from where'd he'd been putting his clothes away, deciding to let Greg make the first move.

He'd been agonising over Greg’s confession for the last two days, barely sleeping, but he finally knew what he needed to do. Greg had spent most of the time in his room before this, Clive had had to write a very aggressive note threatening various methods of torture to get him to come down at all, and even that was just for meals, (he hadn't trusted Greg to eat them if left to his own devices and had told him in the letter he had shoved under his door when he hadn't emerged for over 24 hours prior to 'the incident').
But even then mealtimes were spent in silence, Greg permanently avoiding his inquiring eyes- no longer bothering to make fun of Clive no matter how many opportunities Clive created for a cheap shot.

It was for these reasons that Clive was so relived that Greg had come forward, he was also terrified.

"Errr ... Look Clive, I'm sorry about what happened the other day, and I appreciate you putting me up like this, I'll be fine now honestly its sorted out..." he trailed off waiting for Clive’s reply, Clive let him wait for it.
"Honestly?" he said tone obviously disbelieving, Greg cast a nervous eye to the door before replying.
"Yeah Mr A no need to get you panties in a twist, I'll be cool."
"So you’re telling me that you’re not going to go out again get drunk and find some worthless piece of shit to beat the crap out of you then fuck you into the wall again?"

He said it in a cold steel voice, he'd even practiced it for God’s sake tried to get rid of the quiver as he admitted to himself what he knew had happened; tried to work up the nerve to say it. The result was just as he predicted, Greg Proops stood in his doorway speechless, horrified. He was right then.

"I've heard it before Greg, rape victims" he noticed how Greg turned away at that- recognised the shame "I was their lawyer for gods sake- those of them who came clean that is, you feel worthless like you’re only good as somebody’s fuck toy"

Greg whimpered, eyes petrified still following Clive as he strode back and forth but rooted to the spot straight-backed and terrified

"You feel like your you’re only good for one thing so you search it out thinking it'll make you feel right again but it never does does it?" He could see Greg shaking now…it was working.

“You end up drinking, taking drugs or trying to carve the stains from your skin" Greg’s lower lip began to tremble "how long has it been going on Greg? ten years? longer? and you’re trying to tell me that you'll 'be fine'? You won't Greg and I don't want to be the one to find your rotting corpse at the end of it".

Greg’s knees crumbled and he fell to them Clive lunging forward just in time.

Clive peered into Greg’s face still he tried to put on an act, looked straight forward face impassive but faltering, the eyes always gave them away though, even if they were hidden behind thick glasses there was no mistaking the fear in them as they clouded with tears nor the heavy breathing that accompanied it.

Clive pulled him into a kneeling hug but Greg still didn't respond. That’s when Clive realised it wasn’t acting, it was shock, he stayed where he was for a long time just waiting.

Eventually he felt Greg flinch before slowly wrapping his own arms around Clive and pressing his face into his collar, not sobbing or bawling just needing the warmth of another human being.
Then Clive pulled away- still kneeling in front of Greg only to see silent tears trickling down his face and a sad resigned look that Clive hoped never to see again.

"I’m going to stop this Greg, We’re going fix you" Greg nodded expression not changing and Clive for the second time in so many days found himself reaching for his chin to make Greg look him in the eye, another tear slipped out and Clive pushed away it's track with his thumb -Greg too broken to make some complaint about him being a sissy, did nothing. Greg needed to know that he wasn‘t worthless, Clive needed to prove it.

"You’re not worthless Greg, you’re not worthless to me" Greg looked away again, a look that plainly showed his disbelief. Clearly the direct approach was not the right way. Time for Plan B.

Clive reached out grabbed Greg’s jaw yet again but this time pulled him up for a chaste kiss pouring all his feelings for Greg into it in an attempt to prove to him once and for all how much he was worth to him. Clive pulled away panicking, this could go either of two ways, it could blow up in his face or he might get a shot at rescuing Greg.

He watched anxiously for the result. Greg was clearly shell shocked as he looked at him confused, mind slow in processing everything, and then, before he knew what was happening he felt Greg push up to him tongue wrestling for dominance as a hand made it's way to the back of his head.
The other hand went straight to Clive’s shirt undoing buttons with expert skill, Clive was just trying to keep up with the man.

Soon they were both shirtless, Greg having managed to unbutton both his and Clive’s shirt in a matter of seconds before pushing Clive to lie on his bed stretching his own body over his, Clive's arms began to travel over and around Greg but as his hands moved further up Greg's back he couldn't help but notice the way his ribs stuck out and the hissing noise he made if he pressed to hard.

Greg was moving fast, too fast and when Greg managed to get his belt off without him even noticing, Clive rolled depositing a bewildered Greg onto the bed and coming to a stop sat beside him.

"Are you sure you want this Greg? Are you sure you want me?" Greg rested himself on his elbows then staring up at him in confusion.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean is this just you trying to make yourself feel better again?" Greg frowned and ignored the probing questions.
"I want you Clive, I did from the very first day on set."
"So why didn't you say anything? I would have been flattered"
"I...I didn't think you'd want me, damaged goods and all that" he smiled bitterly.
"I still wanted you, I would have done just about anything to get you. What do you want?" Greg gazed at him for a short moment before choking out.

"Please Clive, I want you to fuck me"

"No"

"What do you mean no?" Insecurity shone through open glazed eyes and Clive stared deep into them and said to Greg’s horror
"I'm not going to fuck you Greg"
"Well then what..." he was silenced by Clive’s hand over his mouth and his eyes grew wider in surprise. Clive moved the hand once he knew he had got the younger mans attention not missing the wet lips slightly parted and bruised from their earlier efforts.

"I'm not going to fuck you Greg, I'm not going to fuck you because I intend to make love to you"

Greg didn't know what to say to that, he'd been claimed by many men and that was fine he was used to it, he long ago accepted his role as the 'quick fuck' but Clive was going to make love to him, cherish him, and mark him not with bruises but with gentle touches and kisses, somehow that made Greg more nervous. He didn't know what to say so instead he was caught searching into Clive’s eyes apprehension clear as the glasses on his face.

Fortunately Clive saved him from the burden of speaking as he trailed a light finger over his stomach muscles, Greg's throat caught and the muscles though his abdomen twitched amazed at the effect such a light touch had on him. Clive placed a hand on his back then and leaned in to kiss and lick behind Greg's ear gently lowering Greg to the pillows at the same time, ever wary of the heavy bruising over Greg’s ribs.

Greg allowed himself to be lowered, to enjoy the feeling of Clive’s warm body sending electric shocks to every part of him and tipped his head back allowing the other man to pleasure him for once.

Clive looked up from his efforts to see Greg eyes were lidded and the pupils blown already, he gazed at the man beneath him fascinated by the parted lips and stretched neck with the pulse beating a staccato against taut skin, his absence wasn't unnoticed however and Clive was disturbed from his quiet observation as Greg leaned forward slightly, peering at him through lust filled eyes as though he thought he would stop.

In response Clive smiled before moving further over Greg keeping their torso's separated so as not to harm him, instead making him lie back down and placing a hand beside his face looking into his eyes as he teased Greg’s lower lip, the tender kiss making Greg buck up in an attempt to initiate a full on tongue battle. But Clive showed more restraint, didn't let Greg control the kiss despite his need for it instead looking a confused Greg straight in the eye once again before whispering.

"Nah uh Mr P I'm not like the others. My game. My rules" with that he lowered himself further down Greg’s body and began to trace the exposed ribs and bruises with loving hands and lips.

Greg gave a slight whimper as Clive's lips caressed the heated skin, the slight twinge of pain surpassed by the sheer tenderness of Clive's kisses making Greg far more turned on than sex ever had before.

Clive tracked his way steadily down Greg's skinny torso leaving Greg panting for breath so it came as great relief when Clive's teasing hands finally reached the top button of his trouser- although he still took his time -using it to plunge a skilled tongue into Greg’s belly button, a move that made him gasp in pleasure as he felt it all the way through to his groin.
Clive was taking him on a journey of his own body, discovering areas that he had previously bypassed thinking them unimportant. The touches so light and sensitive were driving him mad and his breath had become irregular, panted out from dry lips, he wasn't sure he could stand this much longer he needed to feel Clive inside him like now.

Clive had removed his trousers somewhere between the distractions and both were now clad only in their underwear.
Clive moved up to Greg’s face once again this time stroking the inside of Greg’s thigh as he claimed his mouth. It was all too much for Greg.

"Shit" he panted, eyes wide once again "Please... Clive... Why are you doing this to me?"
Clive pulled back from the kiss considering him for a moment before replying as though it was the most obvious thing in the world

"'Cos this is your new first time Greg" Greg tried to look away at that, tears threatening once again "And..." he pulled Greg’s face around to meet his "You deserve this not these" he placed a warming hand over the bruised ribs.

Greg broke at that, no where left to hide he closed his eyes as the tears betrayed him. Clive kissed each eyelid tenderly and stroked Greg’s face with a featherlike touch the man had never felt before.
Greg finally opened his eyes and Clive noticed that some of the pain seemed to have leaked out with the tears leaving them a brilliant green colour.

"Thank you" Greg whispered overcome by the salvation he had found in Clive
"You’re more than welcome" had been the reply before he had once again moved slowly down to Greg’s lower half leaving one hand on Greg’s heaving chest.

Clive pulled on Greg’s legs forcing them to bend so he could massage his outer thighs, Greg then looked down to see Clive licking and sucking a deliberate path up to the top of his thigh and moaned head flying back automatically and eyes rolling almost into the top of his head the closer Clive’s mouth got to his still clothed cock.
This could not be real, it was impossible to feel this good from such little contact and Greg was desperate to touch Clive, thank him with actions not words, except he knew it would be unacceptable so instead settled for moaning in ecstasy hands clenched in the sheets.

Finally, Clive heeded Greg’s pleas and both were completely naked, Greg was exhausted his cock had been weeping for far too long, throbbing, hot and sensitive so when Clive used the very tip of his tongue flicking it just enough to taste the pre-cum Greg had nearly come just from that.
He tensed as he saw Clive’s head duck ever lower knowing what was coming.

"Fuck! Clive!" he yelled out as the man lay a flat tongue at the very base of his cock one thumb barely resting on each ball. "Don't you dare Clive! Don't you fucking dare".
Clive grinned at that casting his eyes up to Greg’s to see him squirming from Clive’s tongue now back to the very tip of his cock, a light sheen of sweat coated his entire body and Clive felt his own cock throb as he saw Greg blink rapidly and bite his lip to suppress a moan.

Clive dragged his thumb back and forth over Greg’s balls and lowered his head once again this time taking Greg into his hot wet mouth an entire inch.
"Oh shit" was Greg’s only reply his body shaking with the effort to contain himself, he leant forward reaching blindly for Clive to pull him into a desperate exhausted kiss, pulling away and opening eyes blown wide with passion only to plead with Clive.
"Please..." he struggled to pant through the words "please Clive enough!... I need you"

"Lie back down" ordered Clive leaning back over him as he did, careful not to touch his over sensitive cock.
Greg saw Clive reach for something then, off the bedside table but soon forgot as he was distracted by Clive's other hand which had captured his wrists pulling them above his head whilst Clive engaged him in a passionate kiss of which he had no control.
Clive smiled into his mouth as Greg closed his eyes and whimpered at the cool finger that had just been teased into his arse. The kiss was broken, one of its participants far too distracted to maintain it and Clive moved back down Greg’s body again removing the finger, Greg began to turn over ribs still making him slightly stiff but Clive stopped him with a hand to his thigh, Greg shot him a confused look.
"I want to see you come" was his only reply before Clive’s head ducked down again.

Greg collapsed back into the pillows the moment he felt Clive’s sharp tongue penetrate his arse swirling in the tight cavity, he bucked up, heart beating so fast he thought it would fail any moment.
Clive slipped the finger back in beside his swirling tongue loving the way Greg twitched around him, finally after the second scissoring finger had joined the others and Greg had yelled out loud enough to wake the entire street Clive had deemed him ready.

Greg tensed as he felt the tip of Clive's cock at his tight entrance bracing himself for the usual pain, but Clive showed more willpower than he'd ever thought possible as he steadily inserted the very tip of his cock, staring at Greg’s sated broken body and face contorted in pleasure wanting to etch it on to his mind.

Greg felt Clive's eyes upon him as he was penetrated deliberately slowly, feeling himself pulse as every single inch of Clive pushed against his boundaries stretching him with only the slightest pleasurable burn, neither of them made a sound both concentrating too much on the pulsing, throbbing, stretching feeling that consumed them but when Clive’s considerable length was finally totally encased in Greg’s twitching hole neither could stifle the moan that escaped them.

Clive opened his eyes eventually to look into Greg’s trouble free face-ever the gentlemen as he waited for Greg to open tired eyes, smile and say.
"Make love to me Clive"

He needed no more encouragement as he carefully leant over Greg encasing him in a protective cocoon and began to thrust into him eyes never leaving his face.

They had started slowly, Clive pulling almost all the way out before thrusting back into the desperate man inch by terrific inch, but soon, as Clive’s cock begun to hit Greg’s prostrate, causing the younger mans eyes to flash both lost control and the slow rhythm was lost, Clive beginning to thrust in earnest.

The younger man began to pulse around him kicking his feet out as he thrust wildly. Clive’s composure broke soon after as the Greg tightened and sqwoze him to an wet orgasm which Greg felt flood inside of him, the erotic ness heightening his own climax ever further leaving him screaming Clive's name between breaths, pulling the other man down to crush their lips together stroking his back and whispering nonsense in his ear as he felt the last of Clive’s spasming orgasm inside of him, finally leaving Clive exhausted and spent.
With the last of his strength Greg managed to roll them both Clive slipping from his body as he did so, Clive had his eyes shut but he smiled when Greg placed a protective kiss to his forehead.
Minutes ticked by and Clive opened his eyes, sensing Greg still looking at him, considering him once more. Finally Greg fixed him with a harsh stare, steeled himself and said
"I'm not alright Clive... but I will be".
"That’s all I needed to know Mr Proops, now get some sleep you look exhausted." Greg smirked at that, eyebrow waggling, but there was no venom in his voice when he replied.
"yes sir Mr A"

Ok well thats my first fic over and done with please let me know what you think! :) *bites nails anxiously*

kittenkathleen @ 2008-06-15T22:13:00

2008-06-15T21:33:39Z

Okay I'm not sure I like this again but I said that last time so I guess I'll just have to see how you recieve it

Cracked Crown upon my head (PART 2/3)
Pairing: Greg/Clive
Rating: I'm gonna bump this up to 18+ cos it goes into why Gregs so screwed up and ... well it's not all that pretty
Warnings: Contains reference to drug use, alcohol abuse, mentions of sex and self harm plus some naughty words
Disclaimer: Believe me if I did own them I wouldn't be nearly as cruel *sobs*
Summary: Time for some confessions Mr P

AN:For anyone who doesn't know 'Frisco' is just a nickname for San Francisco (Gregs hometown)

Greg had woken late the next day, Clive had ordered him to sleep deciding their little talk could last until Greg had at least had the chance to sober up a bit. In fact Clive wouldn't of known Greg had woken at all if it wasn't for the sound of spluttering and the shower turning on.
He'd busied himself then, pottering around the kitchen making tea and trying not to think too hard about the conversation he was about to have.
Once the tea was made and the shower had come to a halt Clive carried the tray up the stairs feeling nervous and anxious at the same time.

"Greg? can I come in?" he pressed his ear to the oaken frame, there was some scuffling and a hushed 'ouch' before Greg’s nasal tones echoed through.
"Errrr just hang on a moment... do You er have a shirt I can borrow? It's just you know mines kinda ruined."
"Sure Greg I'll be back in a mo."

He’d tottered of then, placing the tea beside Greg’s door and making his way to his own wardrobe were he searched for an appropriate shirt.
It had been a long time since he had been Greg’s size, in fact he doubted he ever had been so it took several minutes of wrestling through suits, pinstripe trousers and endless amounts of ties to drag out the pinkish fitted shirt than someone had given to him one christmas(he'd never worn of course- he thought it made him look 'podgy'.)
"I've got your shirt Greg", he'd called "shall I bring it in?"
"Errr no thanks Mr A could you just leave it by the door?" Clive found it hard to miss the hesitation on Greg's voice despite the old nickname, he decided to play along.
"I wouldn't take you to be a shy one Mr America? Believe me it's nothing I haven't seen before"
"I'm sure that’s true Mr A" came the standard reply -induendo all too clear from that adorable San Franciscan accent. "Tell me... was Cambridge fun?" Clive smirked. Now this was the comfortably masked Greg he'd become accustomed to, but enough fun, he couldn't allow Greg too much leniency. Game over Mr P.
"So what’s the problem then?"
No reply -obviously not used to making excuses for himself thought Clive. He decided to forge ahead regardless.
"Is this about the bruising?"
That stopped Greg in his tracks, as he knew it would. There was a another silence before a barely audible string of curses and the sound of the key turn in the lock. Permission granted.

Clive moved forward, cautious hand on the door before stepping over the threshold leaving the tea outside.
When he entered it was to see Greg sat on the bed with his back to him, covered only by a towel around his waste and leant over massaging his forehead with large hands.
"Shit Greg" in the grey light cast through old lace curtains the bruising looked if possible even worse, on his brief inspection the other night Clive hadn't seen the tinged yellow beside the red and purple, new bruises over old. This had been going on for sometime and Clive once again felt sick at the thought especially as his eyes went back and forth counting ribs .
Greg's only response was a huffing noise and eyes that looked anywhere but at him.

"Why couldn't you just tell somebody Greg? What did you think we'd say? Did you think we'd disown you? We're your friends Greg you don't have to act to us..." still Greg didn't reply, just sat still as statue looking ill and tired.
Clive approached Greg, reaching a shaking hand to his back to trace over the dark shadows.
Greg hissed, back muscles jerking away on instinct.
"Don't..." tears had begun to crowd at the corners of the hidden eyes, clenched shut in pain "please just... just don't."
Clive surprised himself next as he came around to kneel in front of the man looking into his eyes, eyes that desperately tried to avoid his- trapped by Clive’s body and proximity trying to hide again despite their closeness.
It was Greg’s turn to be surprised though, when Clive reached for his jaw turning his face to look directly into his eyes and forcing him to look straight at him, Clive could see the shock, fear and discomfort in Greg’s face. But that was just too bad.
"Now" he started tone clearly saying there was no room for argument "tell me what happened".

Apparently you had to be cruel to be kind with Mr Proops because it was then that Clive witnessed the man break completely. All the walls that had seemed 5ft thick came tumbling down and he began to shake tears now flooding his eyes as he began a spluttered confession.
"There was a gang-skinheads-they beat me and left me in an alley after one of my shows, they said I was a fag... I got back to the studio, I was so tired of pretending and I just wanted it to stop"
Clive was getting scared now 'wanted it to stop'? he wasn't sure he liked the sound of that, sure enough...
"I figured someone would find me then...afterwards, but I can't even do that right can I?"
Clive realised he needed to squeeze the rest of this poison from Greg while the floodgates were still open, he knew Greg would never be like this again and he wanted to know everything.
"What about the others?"
Greg looked up at this, curious eyes bloodshot now "the other bruises-your not telling me they were from last night."
Greg’s lower lip trembled and Clive could see him trying to curl back into his shell once again. No chance thought Clive.
"Greg who caused those other bruises?" he had took Greg by the shoulders and invaded his personal space, sudden and harsh, Greg flinched away.
"I can't say" his voice cracked
"What do you mean you can't say?"
"You'd hate me", Clive didn't know what to say to that so he stayed silent. So did Greg, he'd pushed him too far- time for retreat.
"I'll be waiting outside when your ready to tell me"

He waited for over an hour back to the wall beside Greg’s door, he shouldn't have grabbed him, he'd broken Greg and been too cumbersome and heavy-handed when he tried to stick him back together again.
So he waited, listening to the sounds coming from Greg’s room, which were in fact surprisingly few, there was a few gasps (probably from pain), a few groans (probably from the hangover), and a few muttered curses (probably from the fact that he knew that Clive was sat outside, waiting for him to sob his heart out or whatever he expected).
Finally, long after Clive's arse had grown numb, he heard the sound of another person sitting back against the door, the man banged his head a few times in frustration and then sat silent. Clive waited for him to start.
"There was a guy-his name was Mark, don't worry not the one you know this was years ago".
Clive was amazed at how calm, cold even Greg’s voice had become, apparently it was easier to talk through a door.
"It was back in Frisco, back when I was still a virgin-worst I'd ever done was snuck into a bar illegally, anyway he and a few of his cronies they knew I wasn't at drinking age, I shouldn't have even been in there, what was I gonna do? tell the police?" Clive caught the hysteria starting to creep into his voice and his heart beated ever faster for the broken man, he wasn't sure he wanted to hear what was coming next. Greg took a deep breath and continued "They took me round back, they raped me...", there was a long silence.
It had been exactly what Clive had been dreading and his heart hammered filling his ears with the fierce pounding of blood and he pressed his face to the door struggling to hear Greg- not wanting to miss whatever came next even if it broke his heart. Greg had gone silent but Clive needed to know.
"What next?" The question came out choked sounding despite all his efforts to control it. Greg obviously picked up on it.
"Your not supposed to know this... Your not supposed to see me like this.... I've never told anybody else. I shouldn't say..."
"What next Greg" he cut through him this time in a sharp voice, he wasn't escaping him again. Greg huffed out a breath before continuing his voice laced with hysteria and malice.
"You really want to know countryboy? Do you really think you can handle it? You really want to hear how they took their turns pounding into me and left me bloody and ruined? Do you really want to hear how I started drinking, how I got arrested for possessing drugs, how I moved onto the harder stuff?" it all rushed out. Clive let it- barely breathing. "They sent me for counselling you know? couldn't understand why I'd suddenly become a recluse, angry all the time, getting arrested -sometimes just for being so fucking arrogant-it didn't work of course- no matter how many times I counted to 10 I never changed back, at least she never asked me to show her my legs, I never did do it on my wrists it seemed so fucking stupid when everyone would see it and bother me you know? As for the other bruises you wanna know how I got those Clivey-boy? I got them because I deserved them alright! I deserved them!"
And with that Clive heard a stifled sob as a lock was viciously turned and the man strode away.
Greg was right, Clive wasn't sure he could handle it-Greg it seemed, had been broken for a long time-too proud to tell anyone and now that he'd forced the information out Clive wasn't sure what to do with it. He moved then, leaving Greg at least some of his dignity, he knew they'd both sleep uneasy that night.

AN2:Eeeek this was scary to post but be honest and please tell me what you think :¬|

kittenkathleen @ 2008-06-15T04:53:00

2008-06-15T03:56:54Z

Okay so this is the first fic that I've ever posted and I did it at like 4amish? so its predictably terrible but maybe some of you will find it readable. My apologies in advance.

Cracked Crown upon my head (PART 1/?)
Pairing: Greg/Clive mentions Tony
Rating:Will be NC-17 in later chapters probably 15ish now
Warnings: Contains reference to drug use, alcohol abuse and self harm plus some naughty words lol
Disclaimer: Boy do I wish I owned them but unfortunately not so until my fairy godmother comes I'm letting you know that I don't own them and all of this is made up \o/
Summary: Clive helps Greg overcome some problems, Angst and slash

When Clive first met Greg he knew there'd be trouble. It was the summer of 89 and the producers had decided that the program needed updating (although why after only one season he didn't know), but whatever his opinion it was time for the inevitable American invasion. They had already experienced the tantalising talents of Mike Mcshane and Ryan Stiles-they were instant hits with the viewers of course, but Clive never connected to them on them on any level. Little did he know what was to come.

Greg had been a revelation when he came, Clive had quickly become bored with being the presenter, there was far too little to do, yeah sure it was funny and he laughed like the rest but he could just as easily laugh watching at home. He lived for the days that Greg would play, his youth seemingly transferring through to him in the form of jibes and comebacks, not to mention the others weren't much to look at. Greg was the one who made him involved-part of the group, before he had met the poofy haired yank he'd been considering resigning I mean he was a trained lawyer for gods sake, he'd often wondered whether Greg had realised this, he was so quick at reading his fellow improvisers perhaps he could read his host?

Far too witty, sarcastic and flamboyant for his own good, Clive knew that it was only a matter of time. So when he came across Greg-passed out on his dressing room floor he'd been expecting it. He knew the story of course-he'd already been through it with Tony, struggling quick witted young comic, forced to put on a face, filled with self loathing, it never boded well they all fell victim to a vice or two it was inevitable. Tony got drunk found a chick and got laid before tearing into his wrists in disgust, he'd never admitted that part to him but Clive had seen the marks nonetheless. So he'd kept a close eye on Greg knowing that when it finally did happen he would be the only one around to pick him up dust him off and send him back out smiling.

Nonetheless, Greg’s pale skinny form lying prostrate and defeated was a disturbing image to a man so used to seeing Greg bouncing with youthful energy and beating him to a pulp in their verbal spars. Clive realised then that Greg would be much harder to set right, after all Tony had simply knocked on his door at two am smelling of vodka and musk asked for another drink and then poured his heart out while sobbing into his hands. Greg however never intended to be found like this-especially not by his intellectual equal.

So it was with great trepidation that Clive made his way into Greg’s room stepping over the still slightly smoking joint as he did so. Clive’s entrance must have disturbed Greg as it was at this point that Greg had rolled onto his side silken shirt rising slightly to reveal a hip bone that stuck out far too much for Clive's liking. Intrigued (or perhaps disgusted) Clive rolled the man onto his back careful not to spill the Jack Daniels nestled in Greg’s paw. What he saw next revealed just how far Greg was gone, and as Clive traced his fingers over the large patch of mottled purple skin stretched over heaving ribs he saw Greg's expression grow pained in his sleep and wondered how the fragile man managed to get up each day never mind improvise. He found himself staring into the bespectacled eyes of the young man who was so smart and quick for his age and for once in his life wanted to yell at the injustice of it and hunt down the bastards who did this to him.

Eventually, once he had composed himself slightly, Clive set to work hiding the evidence of Greg's habits disposing of the booze and drugs before spraying liberal amounts of 'Ambi Pure Essence of Vanilla' to hide the fumes in the hope that Dan would just think the cleaning lady had got overexcited with the air freshener-again.

Next he tramped out to his car to fetch the blanket he always kept ready before taking it back to wrap around a now shivering Greg, unwillingly he prodded him in the ribs and sometime later managed to rouse at least some consciousness from the lithe American only to receive a slurred

"Dudes get outta my face. Stop crowding me...Can you hear music?"

before being used as a human crutch as Greg passed out again. He supposed the alcohol was stopping Greg from coming down, and he suspected Greg hadn't eaten anything because a man possessing a 6ft stature surely should not be so easy to drag? Especially when Greg was making absolutely no effort to help instead clutching to the blanket with white skeletal like hands and a slack face.

After much effort and a few more bouts of "DUDE!" and "HEY MR A!" between consciousness Greg was finally settled in Clive’s BMW breathe making condensation rise where he leant against the window.

It was not until Clive's apartment rose in the BVW's window that Greg graced Clive with his presence-perfect timing as always though Clive dryly.
Throughout the trip Clive had found himself staring at Greg’s curled up form too weak and childlike for the fully grown man. Clive felt ill as he thought about all the times he had stared at Greg’s large hands, slim legs and perfect arse all the time oblivious to the cost involved, sure Greg wore tailored trousers and silk shirts but they were often slightly baggy and Clive had a feeling the waistcoats and bright jackets were more for volume than anything else. People were always surprised when the found out how tall Greg actually was he always seemed petite compared to some of his more gigantic co-stars, it seemed all the improvisers- like they're personalities-were larger than life.

Dragging a moaning Greg bodily from the car Clive somehow managed to unlock the door and pull Greg to his couch, deciding that a real bed could wait until Greg was less likely to fall down the stairs. He left Greg then, slouched against his sofa eyes glazed over before returning first with bedding and then with coffee.

Clive sat opposite him and waited. Greg avoided his gaze, eyes on the floor and mussed hair obscuring his expression. But still Clive waited, making Greg feel like a naughty school boy. But Greg still avoided. They sat like that for over an hour with only some stupid neighbours dog barking and sound of a clock ticking for company. Greg broke first.

"What do you want me to say Clive? That I'm Sorry-It was a mistake? That it won't happen again? We both now it will. What do you want from me?!" He had started calm resigned like when Clive had found him lying defenceless unable to move but had soon become agitated aggressive even, bloodshot eyes searching Clive’s impassive face.
"Why won't you answer me?" Greg leaned in to peer at Clive through thick rims. Clive remained silent.
"What! Have I offended you in someway? Well I'm sorry Mr A but perhaps I can't be a trick monkey all the time" Greg glared still, hoping to provoke a reaction. Clive knew he was angry at him, his last strip of dignity had been torn away-his imperfections laid bare for Clive to judge and convict and Greg didn't know how to deal.
"Look it's none of your business what I get up to... Why do you even care? You wouldn't understand anyway perfect Cambridge boy, pure as gold, good job, nice house... Why do you even care?" Greg was beginning to lose composure now, Clive could virtually see the cracks in the dam ready to cause a flood any moment now. Eventually he replied.
"I care because I'm your friend and I've lost too many people to this...I'm not losing you too.
Greg’s shoulders slumped, his eyes began to fill with the years of torture and he lowered his head too speak to his shoes...
"I'm sorry"
Clive considered the tired man before him readying to pass his verdict.
I'll forgive you" he said slowly "if and only if, you let me help you"
Greg simply nodded.

AN:Is it any good? Should I continue? Please let me know...